"Long and Winding Road withJennifer Elisabeth Mendez"
Had awakened to the sight of sleet and snow gently falling from the sky this morning as I stared out my bedroom room. I could sense the snap of cold weather just by staring at the sleet and snow and started to ponder deeply in reflection to my life, its set of circumstances, what blessings I have such been bestowed with over the many months and the many wonderful days, months and years that lays before me still.
My divorce became a final infamy not so much on why a marriage of some 20 years had to go but for how it had to come to an end. I am not regretful at my former marriage. We both realize that it takes to tangle and it takes two make work it out. But, also came to realize that with all the anger, sadness and such other avenues that come with mourning the loss of a marriage that it is just that….the death of a marriage.
We both o not regret as we look back this year at such emotional, spiritual and developmental growth we had sustained over the year, even the past twenty years of a relationship.
What could have sunken deeply in the oceans of marital existence crashed upon rocky shores instead of just sinking in the depth of some sea? At least we remain friends, and more like sisters contrary to the pleadings of some people.
It had been such an emotional roller coaster ride this past summer of 2008 and none for the farther. It was painful and going through a divorce no matter the circumstance is strained, stressful and emotionally painful. So much can be invested in a relationship and with the investing can come the pain of emotional strain.
Year 2008 ends on good notes for both my ex and myself however as we find ourselves in our respective new residences some 15 miles apart and that is not a bad thing actually; it’s a good thing! Some newly gained friendships, better health, both now we both stand un-employed (but for my ex is more of a change for the better so that moving in another direction within the career track could hopefully become beneficial) in this unpopular economic downturn.
I will be attending a newer campus as I wind up my course work and finally walk that platform in cap and gown not to mention sporting a nice new dress underneath.
The one good thing for me is that I will not have to concern myself with mowing and racking of grass and leafs in the yard just and leave its details to the lawn care people as I dedicate myself to a solid slate of school course work and finalize its accomplishment so I can receive my degree. Though there have been some mix feelings; I am so looking forward to this new life, merge forward and finally achieve some deep rooted goals that I had been wanted to fulfill for some 17 years now.
I do have to admit that I can breathe free and begin to focus clearly now. I am basically all moved in to my new home and am excited about the prospects for the future there. Of course now that the divorce is over I can state more freely on how I felt about the whole divorce case and our former relationship. But, for now I will not comment on the case only suffice to say that my ex had such a numb-nut for an attorney who was so lazy and so unethical that would even allow Willie Cochran to turn over in his grave.
I have not been attending a new church which I complain not about nor do I have to. I like it there and they like me.
My brothers and I are still not talking and have not seen my baby brother since my ex’s mother-in- law’s funeral. I have not spoken by phone with my brother in Florida since the last two to three months. As for my eldest, well that is a totally different but sad story. I am concern he would pass from this life with a heart full of guilt and bitterness. My baby brother I have concern for and worry me not so deeply thank heavens, but am concerned where he will end up down the road of life. And the one in Florida I can not mention much about cause there’s not much to brag about.
I do feel for them and their immature, but bigoted ways. I do wonder how they feel now that we will have our first-African American president at the helm of the nation’s executive branch.
Two evenings ago on Christmas Eve together with my ex-spouse (yes you read right, the ex) went for the traditional Cuban Christmas eve celebrations with all the Cuban food trimmings and entrées at my adopted surrogate sisters home whom herself and family are Cuban and forgoing my church Christmas Eve services. But, I am grateful that I had gone to Maria’s because it did help me to reconnect more to my late mama and papa. And, observing Maria’s mother at the stove mixing those black beans and rice in a cooking pot brought back to me many cherished and beautiful memories of mama’s joy for cooking and feeding her family especially at Christmas time.
Last night on Christmas I went over to my hairstylist’s home for some more Cuban festive food and yummy! We both had a great conversation and am so pleased and happy that people like this can actually accept me for whom and what I am in my womanhood and I ask why do my own brothers and family have to be so lame, blind and dumb about all of these, but nonetheless its their issue and problem, not mine and I am not losing sleep over it any longer. Some wise young man was expressed to me in a group setting that “Even though blood is thicker than water, you can not drink the blood, but you can drink the water”
My friends and adopted family of choice are just that...the water that I drink even though I thirst after “the living water” and that which I do partake of makes me feel just right along with the fact that “friends are the family you choose”
My ex is aware of my boyfriend whom she has met and is very much at ease with whom I have been dating for just a under a year now and wow, could you hear the rumors fly. But, hey, it’s their problem not mine! We have not been in a very serious relationship until now after the divorce, but I am not ashamed. He knows me well enough as if we have known each other a hundred life times. He has treated me with nothing but respect and has helped me get over the mudslide of my brothers and for that I will ever be grateful. He is very special to me and knows that there will always be a portion of my heart that belongs to my ex-spouse.
Spiritually we have both been getting closer to one another and for that I am also grateful. We openly discuss issues and situations so that we both put the breaks on before it gets blown out of proportion and there’s some argument that did not mean to be present and since we have met almost a year ago we have not once had an argument about anything. I am happy about that!
Since he’s a business consultant and coach I am setting out with his help some new and hefty realistic goals that I will need to accomplish. Nah, I am not going to be flying some jet and land on some battle carrier and proclaim some immature message like mission accomplish. But, what I will be setting out towards will be that of getting my body toned and healthier. I know what has to be done, just that I had not had a workout training partner in years.
In my new place we are setting up an exercise area just devoted to sweat and grunt workouts and I do not mean that I am going to build up my body full of muscle, but will tone it and sharpen the saw, shall we say. I can not wait until the spring and summer warm weather comes in 2009 to start biking on the trails and do running again.
Financially, for the first time in such a long time I feel I will be working in some capacity and becoming far more self-reliant than I have ever been. I have this confidence that I have been lacking for so long and I do not want to shut it off. Now, that is a good call as Joe Buck expresses.
Health wise I am doing much better according to the recent lab reports and my doctors’ diagnoses of mine latest tastings. This is such a great thing. Out of shape I am currently, but that will be remedied.
I do plan and will be on target to accomplish many great things come this 2009 and I will pursue them with tact, deliberately and expeditiously.
I will update more lately…….
Here is to a great and prosperous 2009!
~ Jennifer Elisabeth Mendez
My divorce became a final infamy not so much on why a marriage of some 20 years had to go but for how it had to come to an end. I am not regretful at my former marriage. We both realize that it takes to tangle and it takes two make work it out. But, also came to realize that with all the anger, sadness and such other avenues that come with mourning the loss of a marriage that it is just that….the death of a marriage.
We both o not regret as we look back this year at such emotional, spiritual and developmental growth we had sustained over the year, even the past twenty years of a relationship.
What could have sunken deeply in the oceans of marital existence crashed upon rocky shores instead of just sinking in the depth of some sea? At least we remain friends, and more like sisters contrary to the pleadings of some people.
It had been such an emotional roller coaster ride this past summer of 2008 and none for the farther. It was painful and going through a divorce no matter the circumstance is strained, stressful and emotionally painful. So much can be invested in a relationship and with the investing can come the pain of emotional strain.
Year 2008 ends on good notes for both my ex and myself however as we find ourselves in our respective new residences some 15 miles apart and that is not a bad thing actually; it’s a good thing! Some newly gained friendships, better health, both now we both stand un-employed (but for my ex is more of a change for the better so that moving in another direction within the career track could hopefully become beneficial) in this unpopular economic downturn.
I will be attending a newer campus as I wind up my course work and finally walk that platform in cap and gown not to mention sporting a nice new dress underneath.
The one good thing for me is that I will not have to concern myself with mowing and racking of grass and leafs in the yard just and leave its details to the lawn care people as I dedicate myself to a solid slate of school course work and finalize its accomplishment so I can receive my degree. Though there have been some mix feelings; I am so looking forward to this new life, merge forward and finally achieve some deep rooted goals that I had been wanted to fulfill for some 17 years now.
I do have to admit that I can breathe free and begin to focus clearly now. I am basically all moved in to my new home and am excited about the prospects for the future there. Of course now that the divorce is over I can state more freely on how I felt about the whole divorce case and our former relationship. But, for now I will not comment on the case only suffice to say that my ex had such a numb-nut for an attorney who was so lazy and so unethical that would even allow Willie Cochran to turn over in his grave.
I have not been attending a new church which I complain not about nor do I have to. I like it there and they like me.
My brothers and I are still not talking and have not seen my baby brother since my ex’s mother-in- law’s funeral. I have not spoken by phone with my brother in Florida since the last two to three months. As for my eldest, well that is a totally different but sad story. I am concern he would pass from this life with a heart full of guilt and bitterness. My baby brother I have concern for and worry me not so deeply thank heavens, but am concerned where he will end up down the road of life. And the one in Florida I can not mention much about cause there’s not much to brag about.
I do feel for them and their immature, but bigoted ways. I do wonder how they feel now that we will have our first-African American president at the helm of the nation’s executive branch.
Two evenings ago on Christmas Eve together with my ex-spouse (yes you read right, the ex) went for the traditional Cuban Christmas eve celebrations with all the Cuban food trimmings and entrées at my adopted surrogate sisters home whom herself and family are Cuban and forgoing my church Christmas Eve services. But, I am grateful that I had gone to Maria’s because it did help me to reconnect more to my late mama and papa. And, observing Maria’s mother at the stove mixing those black beans and rice in a cooking pot brought back to me many cherished and beautiful memories of mama’s joy for cooking and feeding her family especially at Christmas time.
Last night on Christmas I went over to my hairstylist’s home for some more Cuban festive food and yummy! We both had a great conversation and am so pleased and happy that people like this can actually accept me for whom and what I am in my womanhood and I ask why do my own brothers and family have to be so lame, blind and dumb about all of these, but nonetheless its their issue and problem, not mine and I am not losing sleep over it any longer. Some wise young man was expressed to me in a group setting that “Even though blood is thicker than water, you can not drink the blood, but you can drink the water”
My friends and adopted family of choice are just that...the water that I drink even though I thirst after “the living water” and that which I do partake of makes me feel just right along with the fact that “friends are the family you choose”
My ex is aware of my boyfriend whom she has met and is very much at ease with whom I have been dating for just a under a year now and wow, could you hear the rumors fly. But, hey, it’s their problem not mine! We have not been in a very serious relationship until now after the divorce, but I am not ashamed. He knows me well enough as if we have known each other a hundred life times. He has treated me with nothing but respect and has helped me get over the mudslide of my brothers and for that I will ever be grateful. He is very special to me and knows that there will always be a portion of my heart that belongs to my ex-spouse.
Spiritually we have both been getting closer to one another and for that I am also grateful. We openly discuss issues and situations so that we both put the breaks on before it gets blown out of proportion and there’s some argument that did not mean to be present and since we have met almost a year ago we have not once had an argument about anything. I am happy about that!
Since he’s a business consultant and coach I am setting out with his help some new and hefty realistic goals that I will need to accomplish. Nah, I am not going to be flying some jet and land on some battle carrier and proclaim some immature message like mission accomplish. But, what I will be setting out towards will be that of getting my body toned and healthier. I know what has to be done, just that I had not had a workout training partner in years.
In my new place we are setting up an exercise area just devoted to sweat and grunt workouts and I do not mean that I am going to build up my body full of muscle, but will tone it and sharpen the saw, shall we say. I can not wait until the spring and summer warm weather comes in 2009 to start biking on the trails and do running again.
Financially, for the first time in such a long time I feel I will be working in some capacity and becoming far more self-reliant than I have ever been. I have this confidence that I have been lacking for so long and I do not want to shut it off. Now, that is a good call as Joe Buck expresses.
Health wise I am doing much better according to the recent lab reports and my doctors’ diagnoses of mine latest tastings. This is such a great thing. Out of shape I am currently, but that will be remedied.
I do plan and will be on target to accomplish many great things come this 2009 and I will pursue them with tact, deliberately and expeditiously.
I will update more lately…….
Here is to a great and prosperous 2009!
~ Jennifer Elisabeth Mendez
No comments:
Post a Comment