NOT YOUR EVERYDAY DISHES IN THE SINK........

November 05, 2012 -

I am not here to do my laundry nor wash or wash the dishes in my sink with anyone, and I really do not have to post this...for it’s of a more personal nature and perhaps I should have just email my friends when I am able to do so and within its timing would just be the right thing to do after all. But to those very close to me both near and afar while never-minding "the rest of you" whom are just as connected to me whom I know nothing personally nor hardly anything at all whatsoever, just bare this in mind:

A lot has been personally occurring within my own life lately from downturns to some bitter health hiccups sort to speak of even on down to some issues business-wise, however I will be alright and I understand all too well that “when one door closes, another door opens,” isn't that right?

I have to remember the teachings of the late Dr. Stephen R. Covey as he taught "First Things First."

Allow me to brief you up to date:

Last year at about this time my late spouse had taken a turn for the worse and ended up in the hospital where she had taken her very last breaths of her life's sojourn (it's what I consider her turn on earth and cancer had taken her). It had been a time where it wrenched me so much to the very core in which those events along with another one to follow had plummeted me right into a deep and darken depression with levels of despair and loneliness that no matter whom was present or even near me would not be to avail much in helping me at the time.

When she passed away...a huge chunk of my heart was laid to rest with her right along besides her. It had taken me nearly almost a year to get out of that cellar and crawl back from a deep well to where I am standing of off my knees onto my feet thanks to some well meaning and deserving friends (and they know whom they are) along with that of my godmother along with loving cousins I have been able to dig right out of this hole where I now feel better and life is renewed, and gradually becoming more rewarding to me.

It is something about the big picture that I know so deeply in the depth of my soul and belly which deals not only with this life nor its existence, but, whether that of another.

So, in order to "push my shoulder to the wheel" and move onward with the very business of my everyday life I had to just let my precious 'MJ' go to her rest beyond what I consider along with so many like onto myself of a similar leaning persuasion of faith as that very thin veil; (ever seen the television show entitled: The Ghost Whisperer; staring actress Jennifer Love-Hewitt? Yeah, something like that in some ways) known as the other side.

However, I had not for one reason or another wanted to let her go and did not even want to release her. I wanted to hold that power to hold her soul and spirit here near me and, I wanted to play that power. I was being so selfish and my understanding of what I have known so deeply even prior to her passing had become so clouded.

I knew eventually I had to do just that for which I have done prior to MJ’s passing for both that of my late mother and father in their respective transitions from their sojourns in this life, and believe me, there is not a day that would not go by where I just did not hurt so painfully that it wrenched me so deeply that it burned as if a flaming sword had pierced my heart and soul.

MJ had indeed been my best friend and my very soul mate on this earth and for the most part still is even in death. While in our relationship some others just could not leave well-enough alone in which they just went ahead to interfere (the monster-in-law and her tribe) and would always get their very wet noses right into our personal affairs of life and relationship when they needed not to be there in the very first place. 

Why they just could not mind their own affairs which would have been the proper thing to do. After all they just never understood what "the whole picture" is as both MJ and I have understood. Not even members of our church quite got that picture; but that is not my concerned regarding them.

What I understand now and do grasp is that I just have to change my ways in many areas of my life and walk with my Creator now, and for that I am very grateful. I have come to an understanding that even a social media portal such as Facebook itself is not the end of all things and it’s not the main arena of interest in my life.

I have friends, family, other loved ones and a company that needs my sincere dire attention with laser zoned in focus. However this shall be the last of what I state publicly in various forums such as these, for I feel that my life and sojourn in many ways is a private affair and it shall go of radar when time sees fit from portals such as Facebook and any other such portals; and it shall be conducted under a time fitting that of my own pleasure and choosing. 

I just have a need to feel safe.

Thank you for your time along with your sincere reading and understanding.

~Jennifer