It is no longer a question of...Why Me?..But Why am I a Woman?

For me this is wonderful, for it is a breakthrough at last and it's my first blog of all!

This after all is both a great and nervous time for me, too. I had decided to do a blog to help keep me motivated in my own journaling, but also in an attempt to better express myself as to who I am, and as to why I am the person I am.

In the many previous years there seems to have been much hate and prejudice in the world, so much in the realm of abusive powers and oppression of peoples. Even a lot of finger pointing and bashing of various people who might be different than what is prescribed by society under so-called and ill-defined double talk practices which is geared and mostly driven by men themselves, and not women, under a patriarchy societal set of standards which would describe me and call someone as myself as being perverted or of ill-minded.

Seems like everyone, but not just everyone...and these people know who they are which seems sadden me cause they love to be the armchair critics of live in general.

Too many people are and have been sticking their noses where it really should not belong, and too many of course have been wasting their time with such issues that will not go away, curl up like a ball and roll and die! Which will remain forever lodged in the forefront of the world.

Who am I?

Well I am a lot like the postal carrier who delivers your mail, I am a lot like the waitperson who serves your meals at a diner, and I am a lot like the person taking your dry cleaning order, I am also like the cocktail server at some pub.

Inwardly I am a lot like the spouse who minds her home, the school mom that wants to ensure the children are safe from wackos and perverts out in society, the nurse who cares about your blood pressure, and one who cares about the well-being of others.

Who am I?

I could also be the one seating next to you in a pew at church worshipping and praying right along with you and dropping a tear of joy in feeling the spirit.

I am also the student next to you in class, and I am also the one in front or behind you in line at the grocery store cash out lane or just waiting my turn to vote.

Who and what am I?

I am child of God, I am also a Son of God who accepts his male side and whose also emerging from a cocoon in which is to fly as a feminine butterfly in being actually who I am as both a mle and female and in merging both of them together.

Oh Yes! You read right...to emerge into the woman of which rightfully I can both be and become, and belong.

I am a living testimony of Gods creation, change, and of transformation. His miracle of helping me to better understand myself, who I really am after all, and to better understand the creation of both man and woman.

I am not just only a son, but am also a daughter. For some that is both heavy and deep stuff and makes one wonder if I have flipped my lid. But I can assure you I have not flown over the cuckoo’s nest!

But for some that do not understand, and others that do is this:


Well, how can I make this any clearer for you? The reader...

You see, I am a woman who had accepted through many hours, tears, pain and years in pleading with my maker and creator through prayer, counsel, scripture study, worshipping, serving others, fastings, and many anointed blessings with regards to my gender and standing as to who I am in Gods presence and in my transgender emergence.

Who am I?

I am like many of you who had tried so ruthlessly, tirelessly, and so unceasingly to run away, to purge myself from, and do everything possible under the heavens to shield myself from my feminine gender.

I had always been denying myself the very woman I now know I am and of which I came to better understand through the many months and years starting when I was a little child cross-dressing which had emerged into the reality of being diagnosed with gender dysphoria and running away from its reality for fear of being ridiculed, suffering bashings, being labeled as a faggot, sissy and other not so kind terms from which I had incurred.

Who am I?

Along with hatefulness for various reasons others may not understand, and for other reasons such as having nothing better to do with their time spewing their negative energies on various transgender women such as myself.

I am not ashamed of expressing the fact that I a transgender woman who happens to be a Christian herself, and one who has not undergone sexual reassignment surgery.

But that alone is not the focus of this blog, what matters is that I am alive, I am a child of God, I am a cross dresser, even at best a transgender woman who finally is not ashamed of who she expresses herself to be and can become.

Thanks for reading, and here's to the edification of Women hood.

Jennifer Mendez