What am I bitching about? You might ask....

What am I bitching about? You might Ask...

Have been sitting here on my couch appauld with what I have been watching on ABC's PrimeTime Live in a segment about afro-Americans and how the white nationalist racists treats them and aboard these people who also have a living and existing space on this earth.

My logical thought would be this:

What if China were to march on this land along with the Arabs of the middle east and entreated these same self-centered racist bigots in like fashion? My late father had some reasoning once that made sense after I had thought about it: It's as simple as to placing a rapist after having been completely castrated into a cell to become some man's sex toy! Is that perverted or sick? I doubted...but its punishment that fits the crime...How would this rapist endure? How would he deal with it? Would it be fit punishment?

A lot of our world’s woes and its share of chaos sadden me. So many are living in a world of "what about me?" mentality and it is not the safest zone to be in. Our society has become a mayhem of chaos where people are demanding change from others and others do are not meant to even breathe.

I was on a chat tonight with a few of mine transgender sisters and it was so un-bearable for even myself to disclose a lot that is troubling me. See, my own marriage is in troubled waters as it has been and it’s gotten worse and worse over the weeks and months since I had embraced my own femininity.

She still cannot handle seeing me in a dress or even a skirt and that of being a woman, myself. I am not trying to change her into a lesbian, that is not even my place, and a person just does not rearrange someone else’s sexual orientation.

The other area is my lack of income stream at present where it’s getting to me, and its depressing me to the point where I want to end it all. I feel drain emotionally and spiritually too, but it really has nothing to do with myself being transgender, of that I am sure, but that of having my balance cart or wheel shift. It is more like a paradigm (if that is how its spelled) shift where my balance has been shifting more towards being feminine from that of being masculine. I am getting tired so I am going to bed.

More later...

Jennifer